bleachdalilah:

thtwhitegurrl:

slutdust:

I bought my friend an elephant for their room.

They said “Thank you.”

I said “Don’t mention it.”

Is there a joke here that 15 thousand people get but I don’t?

PLEASE EXPLAIN

gifyourass:

How the world sees America.

(Source: jesssux666)

mikalhvi:

gentlemanbones:

"What is that, some kind of stone, like a heating stone? An odd pattern, it kind of looks like—
…Oh.”

is that a goddamn condom full of spaghetti

mikalhvi:

gentlemanbones:

"What is that, some kind of stone, like a heating stone? An odd pattern, it kind of looks like—

…Oh.”

is that a goddamn condom full of spaghetti

(Source: bent-duck)

meatbicyclevevo:

that’s what little girls are made of

meatbicyclevevo:

that’s what little girls are made of

Inglourious Basterds (2009)

(Source: alsk00)

onlinehumor:

I just want someone to buy me pizza and give me $1500 weekly.