December 2007
The phrase "I'm out of ideas" is never uttered on...
Any media person and/or amateur goofball (present!) can just list things from the soon-to-end calendar year, in order of favoritism.
So, here you go, I’ve ranked all the films I’ve seen this year from “I Loved it Mostest” to “Oh, Come On!”.
Hot Fuzz
Knocked Up
Superbad
Once
Zodiac
No Country for Old Men
The Darjeeling Limited
Death Proof
The Bourne...
holiday confusion.
I like sitting at the back of the bus. I don’t know what Rosa Parks’ problem was; you have that bench and extra space on either side of you, you have more leg room, you can keep an eye on everybody (while most of them can’t see you at all), and you don’t get that weird perspective disorientation that you get when you sit facing out the left or right side of the bus, etc.
Wants For Sale (fun and pretty to look at). →
See, what they (it’s an NYC couple) do is paint a picture of an object that they want (one original painting) and then charge you whatever that object will cost them. And for that payment, you get the painting and the opportunity to help them buy that object. Example: they paint a picture of a Nintendo Wii and it costs you $270.92 to purchase the painting. The cool (and very indie) belief...
recent movie grades.
If you haven’t seen any of the movies named below…I’d say go ahead and avoid the “review” since details are strewn about.
Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story (B+)
A genre that demanded to be mocked has finally been mocked. In relation to recent Judd Apatow writing endeavors, this movie is sillier than Knocked Up or 40 Year Old Virgin but is extremely aware that...
Inverse relations.
The volume of a spectating person’s voice at a sporting event is inversely related to his/her intelligence. I wish we had a pill that could be administered, to deal with this. Nobody is more angry and boisterous while also being incredibly ill-informed and unreasonable than an over-40 alumnus college sports fan. Nobody. The frequency of words being spoken by John Madden during a football...
happy holla-dayz.
Here’s the tracklisting for the six CDs I made, in honor of it being December. Surprisingly, songs that have the same title (“Christmas Song”, for example) usually do not comprise themselves of the same music and/or lyrics. VOLUME I - THE BIG FAT HOLLA DAYZ Holiday Hymn - The Chesterfields Rocking Around the Christmas Tree - Cartel White Christmas - Otis Redding Christmas Time...
here's a tip.
If you buy a Frosty from Wendy’s, put it in the freezer for about an hour and THEN eat it. You’ll thank me later.
WatchThis just seems like the worst idea and least amount of fun a person could have, in the history of ever.
"w00t", i guess? →
my greatest athletic non-sports moment.
Today, I was sitting on my couch and watching Flight of the Conchords. I had just finished eating a little chicken wrap. I wiped my mouth with a paper towel (we’re out of proper napkins). Now, when I’m sitting on the couch, my little 10-inch tall, 8-inch wide trashcan is behind me and on the right…I’d say at about a 135 degree angle, if I were the X axis. So, basically, to...
ever notice that "Jack in the Box" is the most... →
Rule #29.
You don’t have enough room in your life to be a fan of more than three current television shows, at any point. License to Plate Update: I spotted license plates from Pennsylvania, West Virginia, and Alaska (!), today. That’s 8/50.
MySpace crushes hopes.
Almost everyday I have Friend Requests and I’m all happy that maybe some friend from elementary school or some interesting person has found me and then, no, it’s just some hot internet lying girl who wants money. License to Plate Update: I spotted a license plate from Arizona, today. That’s 5/50.
top 3 reality shows most in need of a DELETE...
3. Survivor The “separate tribes by race” idea was one of those crazy, funny “wouldn’t it be crazy if…” ideas someone threw out after the Survivor boom nearly eight years ago, knowing it was funny largely because it was so crass and deplorable that it would never materialize. Now it’s history. That’s as clear a sign as any that a program has run its...
“I can’t think of anything that’s better than what happens in real life.”
– Burt Glinn.
coincidentally, the article on the greatest... →
Guess what tomorrow is.
The 3 year, 1 week anniversary of me starting the digital textual chronicle of my life that nobody reads. In honor of this marginally impressive benchmark, many new features will be introduced to Esteban Was Eaten! — features that will turn your brain into shit (in a good way). The first of which will be the “License to Plate” series, where I try to find a license plate from each...
