January 2008
well i'm glad you're here to tell us these things.
If you want to label this thing as a “State of the Union”, then have it be a lengthy presentation of statistics and facts comparing where we are now and where we were, last year. Good, bad, or indifferent. Employment numbers, federal spending, approval ratings, popularity around the world, etc. I don’t need an hour of someone just reminding us of the nation’s basic, core,...
$18.73 million dollars in 3 days. that means... →
the heat stink. that's the most creative way i can...
November 13 really was my basketball fan 9/11, after all. The time since that travesty has done nothing but reinforce the fact that we can’t locate the responsible source of that day’s destruction; in real life, it’s Osama bin Laden and in this instance…it’s like a combination of Player Health and Chemistry (both of which are intrinsically related). The Heat...
new ranking of favorite discovery channel shows
1. dirty jobs 2. mythbusters 3. fight quest 4. cash cab
dee struck shun.
This hit me recently, whilst thinking about CLOVERFIELD:
First of all, I’m never the one who whines about a fictional movie resembling/imitating real life. I’m never one who decrees a movie as “bad” based on the sole reason that it resurrects memories of a real life event. That being said, couldn’t we have placed, like, an unoffical 10-year moratorium on ripping New...
illegal illogical ill-informed aliens.
When aliens invade, why do they consistently never deploy ground forces? It’s always just aircraft. They would use ground forces, I think. It’s only logical — you bomb the city and then you send in troops and infantry to clean up the mess/capture survivors and occupy important areas. If you blow up New York and then never return, it’s pretty much guaranteed that the humans...
“The reason ‘Authority’, as a Way of Knowing, is important is because...”
– Dr. Baesler, Old Dominion University Communication Theory professor
grouchy oscar.
Here’s who I want to win/who I think should win the Oscars, this year. I’ve left out categories where I had not seen 60% of the nominees and/or categories I didn’t care enough about. Like the Makeup category; only three movies — including Norbit?! — are worthy of a nomination? We’re sure? Planet Terror didn’t have impressive make-up? Anyway, here you go: ...
stories like this should lead the 11 PM news. →
this will never not be funny. →
standing in a field of clover.
Cloverfield was eminently enjoyable. It made me feel two ways (simultaneously) for pretty much the entire movie: I felt like I did when I watched movies like Jurassic Park or Independence Day, when I was young. Excited, scared, entertained, fascinated, and interested. I felt like I did whenever I watch some story unfold on television. The obvious comparison (for our entire generation) is September...
pathetic quest - update.
The Pathetic Quest is dead. I get too wrapped up in some TV shows to also have time to watch movies, in addition, everyday. I’ve undergone a Scrubs renaissance recently that just won’t give up. It’s like seeing friends over Christmas break…but the friends are fictional and live on a set of four discs (over six seasons). Plus new Scrubs episodes are back January 24. And...
i hate and love this guy at the same time. →
take off.
Since it may concern you (hey, I found it fascinating)…here’s the best-rated of the major airlines:
ON TIME (% of flights on schedule)
Southwest - 80.7%
Delta - 76%
Continental - 73.5%
United - 72.6%
American - 71%
jetBlue - 68.8%
USAir - 68.8%
MISHANDLED BAGS (per 1000 passengers)
USAir - 8.95
American - 7.62
Delta - 7.18
United - 6.43
Southwest - 6.37
Continental -...
"happy new year" wishing rules.
I think, if you say “Happy New Year” to someone after January 9, you deserve no response. Single digit dates only. After that, cold shoulder. Deal with it.
attention: writers.
Enough with the post-apocalyptic future brought about by a global virus. I know a lot of you are on strike so you have time to do some reading/research….so….read/research something that doesn’t relate to a global virus.
What’s wrong with dinosaurs? I thought we had all agreed on dinosaurs being the best catalyst for the apocalypse. I feel like George in the “Jerk...
are you going to kill me? →
I would certainly like to.
the iowa caucus is tonight. wait up to hear the... →
not hot heat.
The Heat gargle balls. I’m very close to conceding the season and starting a series of websites including, but not limited to: ShaqWouldYouPleaseJustRetire.com RileyPleaseDoNotMakeAHastyTradeAndGiveUpTheTwoExpiringContracts.org HeatSeasonTicketHoldersWhoDon’tShowUpToGamesDeserveToBeCastrated.edu But look at it this way: the Heat made the playoffs in 2004, 2005, 2006, and 2007. What...
just some bullet point facts.
The Late Show with David Letterman and The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson both have writers. Jay Leno wrote his monologue for last night and will probably continue to do so, as he doesn’t believe this is a violation of the strike guidelines (though it clearly is). Only Conan O’Brien and Jimmy Kimmel are currently hosting shows that have no writing at all. Is anyone else RIVETED?
yeah, those studios/multinational media... →
“Whether they find life there or not, I think Jupiter should be classified as an...”
– Jack Handey.
Here’s my favorite ten albums of the year....
follow up on the strike thing.
People may be confused when I said that nobody is going to movies. That’s my fault, I worded it poorly. What I said was not entirely true. People are still going in the same numbers as they have over the past 20 years (it spiked from ‘00 to ‘04 — which most everyone attributes to Spider-man, Star Wars, Harry Potter, and Lord of the Rings all converging in those years but it...
thoughts on the writers' strikeout. yes, it's a...
Let me preface this by saying: I absolutely understand the writer’s plight and I think they have every right to strike, as they deserve fair shares of Internet and DVD revenue. But they’re not going to win this thing (and they probably will struggle for many many more years to ever get a sniff of those new channels of revenue, if they don’t effect some change within their own...