the storybook hall of fame.
Many people (especially those who wear black glasses and have Tumblr accounts) frequently bemoan the endless parade of film remakes and adaptations and sequels, generally citing rationale similar to “they’re ruining the original” or “come up with some original ideas”. I’m not one of these people. I literally could not care less if every single movie ever made...
a christmas wishlist for modern men. →
four ideas to save the world (or, a bunch of ideas...
Using bacteria to decompose plastic in months rather than millennia. In terms of “21st century stories that probably should have been all over the news but weren’t”, this one easily takes the crown. Even if you just wanted to approach it from a human interest/publicity standpoint — this incredibly useful and incredibly cheap method was discovered by a teenager for a...
jemaine: murray, you have to fire todd.
murray: what? fire todd? keep your noise down, what do you mean? he might hear you. he's the best thing that's happened to this band. why do you want to get rid of him?
jemaine: bret, tell him.
bret: he's not cool.
jemaine: yes, bret's right. he's not cool like us. we're cool.
murray: he's way cool. he's cooler than both of you put together. look at him, with all his friends -- they're following him. he's like the pied piper of cool. the pied piper was a good musician, wasn't he? he was cool.
bret: he wasn't cool.
murray: yes, he was.
bret: he took all those kids into a cave.
murray: ...no, before that phase, when it was just the rats following.
jemaine: listen, the pied piper's not cool and todd's not cool.
just push play, drink your egg nog, and shut up. →
So long, Fall. We had some good times. Here’s my playlist for you. In a week or so, I will have cranked out yet another mixtape and that one will be about the season that is nowhere near as warm or colorful as you so… allow me to tell the world your story. (And no, I did not realize I had so many “The” bands until much later. So excuuuuse me.) Autumnatic. 1. Eagles of...
leslie: are you in a lot of pain?
ron: i was shot in the head with a shotgun!
ann: ron, it's actually not that serious, i just need you to stay calm, okay?
ron: yeah, i'm, i'm gonna just stay angry -- i find that relaxes me.
this exchange took place after a discussion of how...
molly: i wasted a lot of your money.
dad: you shouldn't use the past tense.
leslie: look, i think it's a little weird that nobody wants to admit that they shot ron in the head.
tom: maybe ron shot himself?
leslie: hmm. he has seemed really depressed, lately.
mark: he was shot in the BACK of the head.
leslie: you're right. he loves the back of his head, he would never shoot himself there.
tom: it could've been someone else who shot ron; someone not in our group.
jerry: you think someone is hunting us?
tom: man IS the most dangerous game.
donna: ...to THE PREDATOR.
tom: i did smell something out there. and it wasn't human.
leslie: that was pine trees.
donna: the predator can see heat.
tom: we should cover ourselves in mud. it could still be out there.
[there's a noise outside]
donna: ...did you hear that?
mark: actually, i did hear something.
jerry: ok, there's someone out there.
tom: i'm gonna get my gun.
jerry: ok, tom, scare 'em off and shoot over his head.
tom: what's that going to do? i'm going to shoot UNDER its head.
The phrase “don’t you ever bring that into my house again, young man” may or may not have been heard following this block.