Man, I’m sick of being right all the time.

Oh and the “if [X] happens in this game, then [Y] becomes true” angle of modern sports analysis is absolutely the most unbearable thing about modern sports analysis. I’ve bemoaned it before in regards to the Super Bowl build-up but… it is one of the more brain-wrinkling wastes of time within a field that is largely just a waste of time.

• In 2007, it was “if Tom Brady wins, is he the best ever?” and people lost their minds, throwing down gauntlets on both sides. Then he lost. So it was all moot.
• In 2008, it was more fragmented but there was plenty of “if Ben Roethlisberger wins, is he better than Peyton Manning?” and “if Kurt Warner wins, is he better than Brett Favre?” (nobody remembers this now but it was absolutely a concept on which everyone felt the need to weigh in for two weeks — especially after the mind-numbing obsession that was Brett Favre-on-the-Jets during that season).
• In 2009, it was “if Peyton Manning wins, is he the best ever?”. Actually, most people were so certain of a Colts win, the thought was more “WHEN Peyton Manning wins…” rather than “if”. Those two weeks were basically a coronation of Peyton Manning as the greatest quarterback to ever live (again, now people have blacked out all the time and energy they put into these debates but they happened and it was suffocatingly dumb). And then Peyton lost. Because he threw a back-breaking interception. And we laughed and laughed.
• In 2010, it was “if Ben Roethlisberger wins, is he better than Tom Brady/one of the best quarterbacks ever?”. Then he lost. DO YOU SEE THE LACK OF LOGIC?

None of these pre-event debates improve the sport or contribute anything to anything; they do not make watching the game any more informed, interesting, or entertaining. Of course, these sorts of “discussions” are everywhere on ESPN and the Internet because a few years ago, all these media figures realized that they can stay on-screen for a longer time as long as they just appeal to the reality TV segment of America. And the reality TV audience loves outrageous behavior, even if it’s staged. And there’s no area better suited for being outrageous than debating what could become subjective fact in the sporting world, if something else happens first. 

So with that being said… *puts hand on your arm, softly whispering* nobody cares. Let’s just watch the game and then decide, okay? Okay. Now get out of here.