the only thing i fear:

The only thing I fear in the world is that particular variety of ice chests found in grocery stores and outside gas stations.

Not long ago, I was buying a bunch of ice for a party and after grabbing two bags in one motion, I swiveled to dive back in and grab more. I guess I instantaneously forgot the height of the chest door frame and my own height because I rocketed my skull right into the steel edge with such force, the resulting sound alone scared me. Then there was the shocking recoil in my brain, which was considerable. I’m sort of glad nobody was nearby because I stumbled around for a few embarrassing seconds like after Hulk was thrown a quarter-mile down a street in Harlem. I quickly recovered and naturally pretended nothing happened.

Anyway: now you will never see a more careful person than I, when I have to retrieve ice from one of these coolers.