There’s actually one for the first film, too!

And though Jurassic Park 3 is the worrrrrrst, the arcade game for it is not any more awful than the other two above:

It should be pointed out, though: all of the Jurassic Park arcade games are unequivocally, 100% just murdering dinosaurs (the original one sort of retroactively claims your obvious machine gun was actually an automatic tranquilizer, at the end but… it doesn’t really compute). And half of the time, they aren’t even carnivores who are threatening your life. You cross paths with herbivores (on your way elsewhere) and are required to just start shooting at apatosaurus tails and blowing away pachycephalosaurs because they’re… sort of in your way, I guess? But you willingly drive into their territory! It defies logic.

Fun fact: there’s a giant dinosaur alligator (deinosuchus) in The Lost World. And even though it’s the size of like two city buses made of muscle and concrete, if you shoot it in the head accurately in quick succession, its entire body flails backwards like you kicked a sock monkey down a flight of stairs. Also? You totally kill it. 
Did I mention the only objective of these games is murdering dinosaurs? Because it is. That’s all there is to it. You kill every single dinosaur you encounter. And in Lost World, those ridiculous alligator physics repeatedly and hilariously rear their head as you obliterate raptors, spitters, and compys with guns so forcefully that they are acrobatically blasted backwards in the air as polygonal shrapnel explodes from their form.
That being said, for The Lost World, it’s the “2-player sit down arcade cabinet” deluxe edition or bust, for me:

BASICALLY, SOMEONE FIND A DERANGED MILLIONAIRE TO JUST GIVE ME ALL THE JURASSIC PARK CABINET GAMES.

There’s actually one for the first film, too!

And though Jurassic Park 3 is the worrrrrrst, the arcade game for it is not any more awful than the other two above:

It should be pointed out, though: all of the Jurassic Park arcade games are unequivocally, 100% just murdering dinosaurs (the original one sort of retroactively claims your obvious machine gun was actually an automatic tranquilizer, at the end but… it doesn’t really compute). And half of the time, they aren’t even carnivores who are threatening your life. You cross paths with herbivores (on your way elsewhere) and are required to just start shooting at apatosaurus tails and blowing away pachycephalosaurs because they’re… sort of in your way, I guess? But you willingly drive into their territory! It defies logic.

Fun fact: there’s a giant dinosaur alligator (deinosuchus) in The Lost World. And even though it’s the size of like two city buses made of muscle and concrete, if you shoot it in the head accurately in quick succession, its entire body flails backwards like you kicked a sock monkey down a flight of stairs. Also? You totally kill it. 

Did I mention the only objective of these games is murdering dinosaurs? Because it is. That’s all there is to it. You kill every single dinosaur you encounter. And in Lost World, those ridiculous alligator physics repeatedly and hilariously rear their head as you obliterate raptors, spitters, and compys with guns so forcefully that they are acrobatically blasted backwards in the air as polygonal shrapnel explodes from their form.

That being said, for The Lost World, it’s the “2-player sit down arcade cabinet” deluxe edition or bust, for me:

BASICALLY, SOMEONE FIND A DERANGED MILLIONAIRE TO JUST GIVE ME ALL THE JURASSIC PARK CABINET GAMES.

6,283 notes

Show

  1. thesaltiest reblogged this from god-body
  2. abdulmohsenba reblogged this from last-king28
  3. last-king28 reblogged this from robvanxan
  4. christianzooboy reblogged this from robvanxan
  5. robvanxan reblogged this from dead-dibiase
  6. talitalayla reblogged this from elkingpirate
  7. typicully reblogged this from assvssin
  8. shakaduzit reblogged this from god-body
  9. lastkings860 reblogged this from god-body
  10. wherethefatonesat reblogged this from zoneofcal
  11. zoneofcal reblogged this from god-body
  12. spookysad reblogged this from sexonpluto
  13. velvetamerica reblogged this from abstract-cool
  14. daplvg reblogged this from abstract-cool
  15. sexonpluto reblogged this from abstract-cool
  16. abstract-cool reblogged this from nostalgia64
  17. cjperreli reblogged this from goodisevil
  18. goodisevil reblogged this from nostalgia64
  19. spankeeworld reblogged this from god-body
  20. fakku-senpai reblogged this from bukkvke
  21. thaamericanyoda reblogged this from god-body
  22. trill-waves reblogged this from dead-dibiase
  23. teebrahhh reblogged this from feliciathebastard
  24. feliciathebastard reblogged this from god-body
  25. theorangefellfarfromthetree reblogged this from trvnsitions
  26. dead-dibiase reblogged this from god-body
  27. trvnsitions reblogged this from metalfacedvillain
  28. gracielabartolo reblogged this from god-body
  29. djaudiowave reblogged this from god-body
  30. dc5alex reblogged this from god-body
  31. metalfacedvillain reblogged this from god-body
  32. wil-d093 reblogged this from god-body
  33. peterkill reblogged this from god-body
  34. decentnights reblogged this from god-body
  35. zack-deluca reblogged this from god-body
  36. calralphs reblogged this from god-body
  37. areyoueatingdoe reblogged this from god-body
  38. haisevamieliala reblogged this from god-body

Blog comments powered by Disqus