money, cash, prose.

[The glorious bit of art above was done by the phenomenal Seattle artist named Alivia Foley. She’s on Tumblr here. She is electric. Please go tell her how cool she is. And please do not steal this image of me as a stormtrooper.] 

Welcome to Esteban Was Eaten! I’m Justin. I was born in the year 1986. I attempt to control and stimulate my brain by making art and writing. If you need more detailed information on my origin story and the ongoing saga of my days, go here.

(If you don’t know where “Esteban was eaten!” came from, observe. Also, go see this movie.)

A few more details about me and this place: 

1. I joined Tumblr with this username in November 2007. It was an ancient time when the word “Tumblr” was never capitalized, always included a penultimate “E”, and had three definitions — none of which had anything to do with blogging.
2. Here’s my face. It’s okay, sometimes.
3. A microcosm of my vastly disparate fields of interest: Star Wars, Shakespeare, hip-hop, public radio, spaghetti westerns, comic books, outer space, and British invasion rock ‘n roll.
4. My oldest friend in the world claims that the term defined here accurately encapsulates who I am. I do not believe him.
5. I’m a man of science. I also believe in the Silver Surfer. 
6. I thoroughly enjoy constructing deconstructive analysis of incredibly meaningless spheres of society.
7. My mutant powers include: vocabulary, driving skills, footspeed, memory, and very little need for sleep.
8. I fancy Natalie Portman quite a bit. 
9. My cousin recently defined me as “the most reasonable person in the world”. As a result, I’m strongly considering crafting a series of short commercials parodying the Dos Equis ad campaign, where I am shown simply behaving in an exceedingly rational fashion before explaining that I don’t always act out but when I do, it tends to be very logical.
10. Speaking of which: caffeine is the hardest substance that I ever have and (to this point) will put into my body. Don’t read into that statement any more than I did, quickly writing it. I just don’t drink or smoke anything. My brain’s hard enough to control, without those things. Big whoop. We can still be friends.
11. I go to the cinema upwards of 60 times per year. (I recently decided that I like to use the word “cinema” rather than “movies”, despite being completely American.) 
12. I like making lists.
13. These glasses are prescription. I’ve had them since high school.

So… there you are. Have fun, I guess? Not really sure how to wrap up an “About me” page. See you out there? I’ll figure it out.